I have a draft about the Arte Y Pico Award which was given to me by John D. I came back online yesterday, and wanted to pay it forward. But I am only just able to hold my head above the swirling, dark waters of depression. I have only just found the ability to think beyond the next pained breath. In short, the awards must wait until I can do them due justice.
I am lying beside the box of Hello Newman's ashes, that we picked up tonight. I had thought that I had wept enough, mourned enough and written enough to close this chapter. I have not. Cricket took me back to Penn, where they gave me a white cardboard box with Newman's remains inside.
It was so light, I feared that there had been a mistake. That he was alive, fit, hale and hearty. That this was a mistake. That they'd cheated me. That he hadn't had a private cremation. That this white box did not include my old, dear friend.
Weeping as I hadn't since we'd brought him in to be put to sleep, I hugged the white box. The label read "Paws To Heaven". If that doesn't touch you, then you are in need of help. On the road home, I picked at the tape and opened the box.
Inside was a little locked wooden box, with a brass plate: Hello Newman. As I cried, I told Cricket to remind me to never name an animal with a greeting again. Inside, was a certificate that Hello Newman had had a private cremation, that he was a beloved pet of the MacNamarrah family and the date of his death.
His ashes were bound in a white cloth. I unlocked the box and added a photo of him. I tried to upload one for this post, but it wasn't happening. So, I may show him in all his glorious beauty later. Because you may be tired of hearing about him and think that it is time for me to move on, but I still need to show him off. To boast about him. To say what an amazing gift he was. To make him live, still.
Push My Buttons!
Stumble It!
Friends Of Bill.
A Hoy Award.
Thanks to Stephany over at Soulful Sepulchre.
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Arte Y Pico Award From John D.
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