Jelly-"Fishy" Story/Why I Open "Fwd:" Emails.  

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Some of you may recall my dislike of "Fwd:" email guff.  Look, I love to send things that I find funny/interesting to my friends.  But I don't send everything on to everyone.  Why?  Because I consider whom I'm sending things to.  Just because I email crap to you, it doesn't mean that the next person in my book would enjoy said crap.
In light of that, I offer an email sent to me by "X".  Clearly she still doesn't read my blog.  She mass-emails me and fails to know when I'm ill.  But sometimes the "Fwd" she has sent is worthwhile.  This one may be an urban myth for working divers, but it's a good read.
So, enjoy the "Fwd".  For the sake of this blog, I have edited it.  If you wish to view it in it's entirety, give me your email.  I'd be happy to "Fwd" it to you! 

 Subject : I love my job
This  is even funnier when you realize it's real!  Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana .  He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.  Below is an  E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103..2 FM  in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

 Hi Sue,

 Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.   Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.   I wear a suit to  the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.  So what we do to keep warm is this : We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. 

It heats it to a delightful temperature.  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and  I've used it several times with no complaints.  What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
 
 Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.  This only made things worse..  Within a few seconds my butt started to burn . I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.. In agony I realized what had happened.

 The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.   Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.   However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. 

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with Five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.  Needless to say I aborted the dive.. I was instructed to make three agonizing =20in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

 So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up &g t; your butt.  Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

 Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?   May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!   Pass this on to all your friends, just incase they're having a bad day!!!

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The Grand-daughter Of A Slave.  

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Today I went back to Miss Carol's house.  I'm painting it for a nominal fee.  She is African-American with, she told me, Native American and White blood.  She was upstairs watching the programme, as I listened to NPR.  When I heard that the ceremony was running past time, but that Bush was no longer President, I cheered.

Miss Carol came flying down the stairs, all sixty-seven years of her, when Obama was sworn in.  She was giggling, laughing, fighting tears and so overwhelmed.  I was so happy, I grabbed her and hugged her.  We were both aware of this incredible moment, both proud, amazed, nervous and so very hopeful.

Miss Carol couldn't shut up.  She stayed with me as I sweated and rolled out her walls.  She talked so much, we missed the speeches.  She wore me down, to be honest.  I'm having a bit of a tough time.  But you know what?  I wouldn't trade it.  Seeing that lady turn into a young girl full of hope was the greatest gift.

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Nursery Murals For Bear And Ruby.  

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You may recall that I was painting a nursery in trade for a teak sofa-bench from Villa and Hut for Cricket.  Some of you were interested in seeing what I did, so here they are!. You may have noticed that I've written three posts in a row with photos in them.  Sometimes I can figure out how to upload, so I have to run with it as far as I can!  Keeping notes would be far too sensible.
OK, so on the top left is the beginning of a singing goose and a very strong monkey.  I had just laid out the basic colours.  It is about three by four feet big.  To the right is the finished image, which is directly above Ruby's bed.  She is two and loves the blue monkey.  The surrounding walls ended up being painted yellow by Tanya, Ruby and Bear's mother.
Below left is the wall at the foot of Ruby's bed.  The black rectangle is chalk-board paint, which you can pick up in your local paint or hardware shop.  I used it on a movie, way back and loved the product.  It is low, only about two and a half feet tall, so the Ruby and her younger brother Bear can easily reach it.  Above, the sky is painted in two shades of blue, with an iridescent glaze.   That glaze is also over the moon and the stars.  That is a ruby red bird perched on the top of the moon.  Something Ruby's dad John wanted for her.
To the right is Bear and his friend riding a tandem.  There is a yellow horn in front and the fish ended up with a much wider tail.  Some children who had seen this as a work in progress, thought the fish was a frog!  Now that just wouldn't make any sense at all!  So the furry cyclists end up with a very large, fat, green and gold fish.  This is a smaller image, as it fits above Bear's changing table.  It's probably about three feet wide, give or tale the fishing line.
Cricket loves her bench and Ruby's family loves the murals.  So, everybody wins.

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