It's late, but I just wanted to toss in a moment of the sublime insanity that I heard on NPR today. President Bush, whom I had at one point seriously considered trying to kill, (my thought was that I was already on Disability for Mental Health so....but Cricket wasn't too thrilled about seeing me locked up forever etc.) went on record saying that the world food shortage was due in part to the growing middle class of India.

His theory, I guess, is that they can afford to buy the now inflated prices caused by the commodities markets. He may actually be crazier than the woman who married him. (Who, despite the fact that she believes in the right for a woman's right to chose if she wants an abortion, went ahead and married him and kept her Stepford Wife's mouth shut.)

Hey, I've an idea for a conversation killer at the next party mixer that you attend....Who would you rather be shipwrecked with:

A) Jeffrey Dahmer, who likes to entice young men to his place, kill them, have sex with them, cook parts of them up and save the rest in the fridge?

B) President Bush, who has taken the constitutional law and twisted it and the Geneva Convention around to suit his own purposes?

C) Dan Savage, an openly gay man with an advice column about sex? (go to http://wikipedia.org under "Savage Love")

D) Tom Cruise, an obscenely over-paid actor who, as the top spokesperson for the Church of Scientology, refutes the use of psychological medications? (See also at http://www.wikipedia.org under Church of Scientology)

Me, I'd take Dan any day. He's my light in shining armor. And as Rosanne Barr used to say before she became a nipped and tucked Hollywood freak, "If it wasn't for all the gay guys, who else would all us fat gals dance with?"

Tomorrow, I am going to see my dream date, Eddie Izzard. Cricket and I are forking over fat money to see the straight transvestite of our dreams. Eat your hearts out. Who needs crappy families, twisted presidents, hungry pedophiles, and freak-show actors, when you have a lovely, straight, transvestite comedian from England who can out-dress you, out-wit you and most of all, take you out of the huge horror that Bush has created, the country we all so dearly want to be proud of: America.