To put it bluntly, depression makes us feel like shit and we become our own floggers. When the depression stops rearing it's ugly head your perception of yourself will change. Hang on until that time arrives.

I want you to know that I'm rooting for you daily ,to obtain that kiss. Keep reaching,Dano! You'll make it!

anyone who can write so beautifully and precisely of such agony is anything but lost...keep treading through the mire...

Paint. Paint. Paint.

Dano,

You are just long long into grieving. Your beloved purr baby passed on and is at the Rainbow Bridge.

You are fighting, you just don't know it. By blogging the way you are, you are pouring your soul into healing. You just got the Mike Tyson knock out punch. But even if you are on the ropes, you are still up and moving.
Hang in there. Keep on, keep on......

Susan and Holly the cat (waving to your girls at home).

Dano,
I would urge you to keep painting. If that is a means of expressing yourself, as you express yourself in words.

Sometimes that's all we can do.

Dear Dano:

Just keep those brushes Handy, paint at the ready, but always be careful of strange large lips in the dark! {Laughing}.

Well written and expressed with such passion and fortitude.

Yours truly,
Stan

Hi Dano, I came across your blog and I think it's beautiful. Please dont' take that the wrong way. The way you write is beautiful and it makes me remember a lot of my own thoughts. Would love to see your paintings sometime. I bet they're extraordinary.

I think your writing and painting are part of a healing process that will open up your soul to peace, joy and love.

One thing I discovered about myself this last year as I started painting again..was that I really had a lot of self-hatred toward myself. I was drinking more, and generally blaming all the bad things on myself, creating a dark, dark pit I dwelled inside.

I had to make a conscious choice to allow myself to feel joy, peace, love again, and that is self-love first.

Even now, having the better days that I am, I can tell you it's a struggle, a tape I have to play over in my mind daily, that I am Ok, worthy of love and happiness, so ejoy it.

I wish you peace and love and joy Dano, I think you are well on your way, don't give up! You are worth the battle!

Stephany

You write so beautifully. And I know what it's like to be scared to paint- I was for years and years. But I wanted to say that it struck me that you asked what gave you the right to be self indulgent. It doesn't sound like you're indulging yourself AT ALL. It sounds like you should! It sounds like you need a little indulgence. Paint paint!

Anon~ You are so right. I find I cannot recall what happens when I'm depressed, if I'm feeling better, with the same vice versa!

It is not just forgetting that I've been contented when I'm not, but the actual events fade when my mood changes. It's a mild fugue state, which probably heightens any feelings of guilt, loss, low self-esteem, etc.


Thinkinfyou~ Thanks, Thinkinfyou. I believe I may have pecked the cheek of a better mood!


Gianna~ I take your compliments, blushing. I try to express myself as openly and honestly as I'm able. I believe that Frank Lloyd Wright's idea of "form follows function" can apply to more than just architecture.

I think it was Billy Shakespeare that said "Truth is Beauty, Beauty; Truth". But it may have been President Bush......NOT!


la~ Too bloody right! I'm heading off to my studio in a few.


Susan~ Yes, the loss of Hello Newman is still sharp. But I took Nigel Nancyboy and Zebedee with me to the shore this week-end.

Henrietta and Gemma-Pooh-Bear stayed home, keeping each other company. I think it worked out.

When we came home, H was on my bed and staying, despite her fear of Nigel. Maybe they can sort it out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!


Polar Bear~ In theory I am a visual artist first, as I've been doing it all my life. Writing has always been an idea at the back of my head. This past April was when I first gave it a go, starting this blog.

They are both fabulous mediums, but I tend to lose myself in painting, as it is much more private than this blog. But both help me express myself, which I am profoundly grateful for.


Stan~ Hello again and thank you. I brought paint, pencils and paper with me over the holiday and did a bit.

I may have a little trouble sleeping tonight. You got me thinking of lips in the dark! It's been a while, you know?!


Vivienne~ I love that you took the time to write your thoughts. You should know that I sooo don't take kind words such as yours the wrong way!

I haven't shown my paintings on this blog, as they are very tough to photograph. I use mixed mediums, with a lot of surface texture and often shellac/varnish the finish.

I'll be part of a group show this spring, which I hope to have pictures of... Hope to see you again!


Stephany~ It is so much easier for others to see our worth! I am very happy to hear that you are seeing your own light.

I had to stop drinking some years back. It was no longer my friend, but Cricket was. She asked me to make the choice. Luckily for me, I picked her friendship!

I hope some day to see your work. Your incredible strength must be a fierce force within it.