Some of you may recall my dislike of "Fwd:" email guff. Look, I love to send things that I find funny/interesting to my friends. But I don't send everything on to everyone. Why? Because I consider whom I'm sending things to. Just because I email crap to you, it doesn't mean that the next person in my book would enjoy said crap.
In light of that, I offer an email sent to me by "X". Clearly she still doesn't read my blog. She mass-emails me and fails to know when I'm ill. But sometimes the "Fwd" she has sent is worthwhile. This one may be an urban myth for working divers, but it's a good read.
So, enjoy the "Fwd". For the sake of this blog, I have edited it. If you wish to view it in it's entirety, give me your email. I'd be happy to "Fwd" it to you!
Subject : I love my job
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103..2 FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this : We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn . I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with Five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.. I was instructed to make three agonizing =20in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up &g t; your butt. Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day? May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!! Pass this on to all your friends, just incase they're having a bad day!!!
This entry was posted
on Sunday, January 25, 2009
at Sunday, January 25, 2009
and is filed under
Humour,
jellyfish,
My Kind of Life,
SCUBA,
work,
Writing.
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