Hello Jack,

Look at me using fancy fonts and colours!  Nothing like blogging to make you learn useless stuff on the fly.

Wow, sounds like you are up to your knees in it.  So sorry.  I have a couple of ideas to throw your way, for what they are worth.

I am working on a big ole house up the street.  The kid (19) helped Doug Pxxxxx out quite a bit.  Doug has been using him where possible, also thinking to send him over to Steve at Kitchen Sink.  Anyway, he's a warm body at $10 an hour.  He's also a HS dropout with teenager issues.  You would probably like him.  But I digress.

Ya, we really haven't talked in a bit.  Warn your clients that one of your previous employees has papers and has just been released from the State Mental Hospital.  That she is grateful that you stood by her in her time of need, unlike her parents.  That she is unpredictable when upset and seems disturbed that you aren't getting paid.  Feel free to use my name and number.  Hell, I'd give you my green card number too, but it is still being replaced....eleven months after I filed.
 
I knew not of the duplex, but am happy to hear about it.  I guess you'll rent out the house until you find a better market?  As to your impoverished tenants, there are a couple of options.  In Philly we have something called Tenant/Landlord Action Bureau.  I suspect that you have something similar in Media.  Call them to chat.

Also, we have a friend Terry, who lost her job at one point.  Having left her slob of a husband and with two kids to support, she sprang into action.  She worked THREE jobs, all of them shitty.  Like WaWa, but with cooties.  I think it is admirable that you care for your tenants, but they need to return the favour.

They need to start paying some form of "good faith" rent to you, say half of the rent.  You'd need to draw up papers for this with your TLAB for everyone's protection.  I'd chat with the TLAB first, to see what they think, then approach your tenants.  I believe eviction takes at least two months, so you should move on this to avoid further potential losses.

Also, can they trade work on the duplex for rent?  Do they have family that your lunatic ex-employee could start harassing with a disposable phone?  Have you considered calling in the Evil One?  Margaret could have them signing away their first decade's bonus sign-on checks in under an hour.

This shit is serious.  The Big M may be your best option.  But don't take my word for it.  My father may be a banker, but I have yet to balance a check book.  Go get yourself one of those Magic 8 Balls, if yours has broken or been nicked.  It's going to tell you what you need to hear, scientifically.

Also, this is an unfailing way to know where your true heart and mind is.  First, get yourself a coin.  Second, flip it to make decisions about any of the above.  If you chose to make it Best Out Of Three, when it was only Heads Or Tails, you'll know where your gut tells you to go.

As to me, thanks to Cricket signing a loan, I am going to become a dog-trainer.  Hopefully in a year from now, the only painting I'll be doing will be in our house.  I have a show coming up on the first Friday of Feb, and I'll send you the info.  I did learn a couple of things last year:

How to retrieve a broken blade from a jig-saw.

How to drive stick-shift.

How to hack HTML.

How to change from a litter mate to a pack leader.

How to find the prison pod that I was holding an AA meeting in.

I did also make my bank crap available on-line, but still haven't figured out what I'm s'posed to type in as my ID.  So this year, starting this week, I am trying to keep track of my money.  You know, like every day and that.  Cocoa Puffs, right?

I think also I should revamp my American Sign Language and start seriously learning Spanish.  If I do end up working with service dogs, these will be useful.

Anyway, do give me a jingle.  I'll pick up for you, unless I'm driving, up a ladder, or socializing.  Hey, if you guys are super bored, Cricket and I were going to this School of Rock show on Saturday.  It's an awful program in that they encourage tone deaf kids to sing, but the music is good.  My friend Natalie's daughter, a Gory elfin, plays base.  She's in the first few sets, which means an early exit for once!  Cricket is coming because they are playing punk.  She has no idea.  One of the sick songs little Lydia is playing is by the Misfits.  They'll make Sid proud, that no-talent wonder!

I'll shut up now.  My number is 215-555-5555

Be sure and tell Michael about all this.  It'll drive him crazy that I didn't talk to him.

But only if you want to.  You can always flip the coin.

May your days be a paradise of love, light, butterflies and kisses and your nights filled with stars, passion, beauty and garden slugs.

Love, D