OK, I grew up in England, which is not known for any kind of culinary expertise. Me, I'd have been happy living on baked beans, fish 'n' chips and Galaxy chocolate. Unfortunately, my parents were into Cooking Bizarre and Foreign Foods, like Quiche Lorraine and Ratatouille. I'm still not sure that I'm related to them, even though I don't mind a good bacon and egg pie, now and again.
Today, I wandered into The Palm, a local convenience store, not to be confused by the restaurant of the same name. They are so friendly there, that it makes me just a little nervous. For example, they greet almost everybody by name. They rarely seem less than happy and content, which is, um, nice, but a little scary. If this were a movie, there'd be something untoward happening in the basement.
Which reminds me. So today, waiting for a bagel, I happened upon a brochure put out by the folks at Boar's Head. It was a nutritional packet about the various meat-snacks and cheeses that they produce. Now, I like to read. Maybe a bit to much, but it's a life-long habit. If I have time with nothing to read, I'll read the info on the side of products, like shampoos, cereals, toilet paper and mouse traps. The Boar's Head pamphlet was glossy, with a lot of pictures, sections and nutrition facts.
Idly flicking through it, I came across something called "Head Cheese". It's not a term that I'm unfamiliar with, as I attended High School here in the States and I'm pretty sure that there were some references to it. But not the kind that need nutritional guides. Still unsure what the heck this cheesy head was all about, I asked my friend and co-worker just what it was.
Now Michelle is a fabulous little spit-fire of a woman. Totally hot, sexy, petite and a surfer to boot, she's a straight to the curb kind of gal. She also has a terribly low self-esteem, which is a topic for another day, as I'm working hard to fix that. Anyway, as she sat down at lunch to munch on a (hang on, let me check the spelling), Liverwurst sam'ich, I asked her what, exactly is head cheese.
'Shelle explained it to me, as only some one who has grown up on Balogny sam'iches can. She said some guy had visited from the Big Easy, bringing head cheese. He cut it up into little cubes on toothpicks, raw, for a party. Being the lunatic that I love her for, she tried it despite sneers and jeers from others at the party. She thought it was yummy and gosh't darned it good. Apparently, like another food I'd never try, Scrapple, head cheese is made out of the bits and pieces of slaughtered animals that don't make it to pet food. She doesn't believe that there are any brains in head cheese. And then she offered me a bite of her sam'ich. Good God no.
There is a problem regarding Michelle and her whole "no brains in the head cheese" view. I believe that it took some serious gray matter to come up with a way to sell nameless animal parts as cheese. In fact, that person is more brilliant than some scientists. Why? Because although scientists may make something out of nothing, the head cheese guy took something that no one wanted and made it an actual commodity. Pass me the olive loaf.
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